“BUT YOU DON’T LOOK SICK…”

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In other words, I'm just going to take it as a compliment because I look fine to you. Because I am a good actress for playing the fine role so well.The more awareness there is for illnesses like multiple sclerosis, Crohn’s disease, fibromyalgia, PCOS etc., the less judgment there will be for us living with these invisible illnesses.

I CANCELED TODAY. LET’S TRY AGAIN TOMORROW _LIVING WITH CHRONIC PAIN

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living with Chronic Pain every day is an adventure. It feels more like a roller-coaster. Sometimes it's up, other times it's down here _mostly down for me.No, the pain meds don't always help. Pain is my constant companion even when I'm on medication. I just try to fake smile to hide my desperation because I know you don't care anyway.

THIS IS MY BULLYING STORY. . .

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Don’t let them get to you. They just want to break you. Hang on in there. No one knows your story. They don’t even know half of what you’ve been through and they are so quick to judge you. You are beautiful. I know you are. I was too. I just didn’t get anyone to remind me that.

TO MY YOUNGER SELF – I’M SORRY

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My intensified nightmares that couldn't let me sleep through the night horrified me, and I spiraled into my own suicidal depression. If my father didn't want anything to do with me, maybe I didn’t deserve to live. I felt completely worthless. And my self-loathing made me feel like a burden to this world. I wanted to die. Like now now. If only I'd just make a wish and wake up in Heaven. That would be so easy.

WHEN I SAY “I AM FINE” …

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I don't feel well but explaining it doesn't lessen my pain sweetheart. I will still feel every bit of it. I'll still cry silently. And you will still doubt my illness and worse dismiss it like everyone else. So I will just say, I am fine.

LETTER TO MY EXTENDED FAMILY – who think I’m just Lazy.

You all say I'm lazy. But what you don't know is, every new day brings a new set of issues for me. Some days I can't get out of bed. Not that I'm lazy, but because I'm Sick. Sick of Living. Do you know I have Chronic pain, Endometriosis, PCOS-that also causes my Insulin resistance and chronic fatigue syndrome? I want you to know that some days I am not excited about life. I just try to survive. I want to be Okay like your children. I want to see my dreams come true, I want to advance my education - I want to make Mama proud. But I need to Stop feeling Sick first.